Troubled World
by pent-up-dragon
Summary: Draco's POV; what will happen? Read & Review


A/N: I decided that I would make a journal from Draco's point of view. The first couple of chapters will only focus on his life during the summer months, then I will go into when he gets to Hogwarts.   
  
Rated R for language, suicidal thoughts, sex, abuse, and maybe more. You've been warned.  
  
********  
  
01/ 06/ 03  
  
Dear Journal (Yes, I will call you Journal),  
  
Pansy gave this book to me just before we left the train. I don't normally write, because I am not into the whole English thing. But, my summer's are generally tough, so she thought that I could write all my shit in this, and give it to her, so she could help me. I guess I can do that. Who knows? Maybe this is going to be good for me.  
  
Anyway, I have nothing more to say, so I guess I'll just sign and put this thing away.  
  
~Draco  
  
20/ 06/ 03  
  
Dear Journal,  
  
I am sick of Lucius, otherwise known as my father. Today has only just begun, and I am already in "hiding" from the monster. I am thinking of running away, but I am too damn lazy to pack. My mother, of course, doesn't blame him for anything. Instead, she says that it is my fault, every fucking thing that he does is my fault.  
  
I am so fucking sick of no one seeing my point of view in this fucking house. Sick of it! God dammit, I need to find some way to get through to them!  
  
Shit. Lucius is yelling again, but he's yelling at Mother. I should go and make sure he doesn't hurt her, although I don't know why.  
  
~Draco  
  
21/ 06/ 03  
  
Dear Journal,  
  
Bloody fucking hell. Lucius is the epiphany of blundering idiots. Yesterday he hit Mother, and I belted him so hard that he saw stars. When he regained conciousness, he told me ... no, wait, I'll just write what our conversation was.  
  
Lucius: You're going to fucking hell, Draco!  
  
Me: Sorry, Lucius, I'm already in 'fucking hell'!  
  
Lucius: (tried to grab me, but fell over) Lord Voldemort will see to it that you are punished!  
  
Me: (pulled out my wand and used the Body Bind curse on him) If he's as smart as you, I'm not worried.  
  
After that lovely fiasco, I locked Lucius in the closet. However, Mother will let him out as soon as he yells loud enough. I am only hoping that will not be for a while.  
  
~Draco  
  
LATER:  
  
Mother is also the epiphany of fucking idiots. She let him out, and he's now screaming at her. I can't believe he's even my father. He keeps using my name in vain, and telling Mother that she raised me too soft. Sorry, Lucius, but I'm stronger than any fucking Death Eater out there.  
  
~Draco  
  
27/ 06/ 03  
  
Dear Journal,  
  
As soon as I get a chance, I'm getting out of this fucking place. Lucius has been on a rampage. Voldemort is apparently gaining strength, which means Lucius thinks he's stronger too. He's been hitting Mother more, and this time he doesn't even care if it shows. Mother has bruises all over her face, and everywhere else that I can, and want to, see.  
  
I am so fucking tired of all Lucius' shit. I think I am going insane. But, if I am, would I know?  
  
~Draco  
  
30/ 06/ 03  
  
Dear Journal,  
  
This knife looks very nice. Beautiful, even. Its black handle has a dragon engraved into it. The metal glints every time that I turn it in my hands. It taunts me. Tells me to use it. It would make some nice marks on my skin.   
  
The blood looks like pearls. It is red beads on my skin. I didn't cut very deep. Maybe I should have cut deeper. The blood doesn't come out fast enough for me.  
  
Mother and Lucius are fighting again. Always.   
  
I have been rethinking my whole plan for running away. That wouldn't solve anything. I need something more ... permanent.  
  
LATER:  
  
I'm just going to kill myself. Hell, it works ten times better. Then I don't have any of this fucking shit to deal with, ever. I am so damn tired of life. See you all in hell.  
  
~Draco  
  
********  
  
A/N: Well, sorry that I ended right there. And, yes I know that this is a depressing beginning. But hey, maybe it'll get better! (And maybe not.) Got any ideas? Review and put 'em in! ^_^ 


End file.
